I am often asked, what makes Social 8 so successful and what are the common characteristics of members who enjoy success with Social 8?
First off, I would like to define what success is with Social 8. Our focus is on helping our members to meet new people, to expand your social circle and hopefully make new friends. While all our members are single and all certainly hope to start dating someone special, this is a by product of our services. Our focus is to help you to get your social network expanding. Once you start to do this, you will then meet the new people in your life’s friends, and their friends . This is how it works, this is how it happened in our 20’s and can happen again for us as we get older. Social 8 simply provides a safe, elegant, non threatening and easy way to meet new people.So success for a member is defined as someone who has enjoyed catching up with lots of members and has successfully expanded their social circle where they now see it as a perpetual expansion rather than a constant shrinking state. So for now, we shall ignore the desire of many of you to meet the love of their life (I shall write more on that another time) and focus instead on the creating of new friendships. So why is it that some people are able to attract and make new friends easily? I believe it is an attitude that separates peoples’ success here.
Each person brings their own energy to Social 8 and it is that energy that each member gets to feel that determines if they want to make friends with that person or not. Some people just seem to radiate that ‘attraction’ energy. The stuff that makes us all feel good and want to be in that persons presence more than anyone else. We all know these people. Things come easy to these people and are often seen as those who don’t have to try so hard. They seem to be born with that extra quality that many others strive for. They are also very comfortable in their own skin, so much so they ‘seem’ to truly not need anyone else. Actually, they don’t ‘need’ anyone else for their own happiness. They have realised that their happiness is not dependent on others, but on their own state of mind. So what is this quality and can I get some of it….please? Yes you can! This is something I believe is attainable with a little work. The old adage of ‘they were born with it’ probably doesn’t hold here as I do think we can train ourselves to have some of what they have.
It all starts with our thought process. Are we someone who is positive or negative? Is our cup half full or half empty? Do we look on the bright side or constantly find something to complain about. When things go wrong, do we take ownership and learn or are we always looking to blame someone else? When others become upset do we add to their drama by agreeing or even worse joining in on the complaining, or rudely and childishly fighting with them or do we take a moment to share gently the other side or a more positive way to look at things? So on one hand we have someone who is negative, whose glass is always nearly empty, who complains all the time, who blames everyone else for every little thing and who dramatises everything. This doesn’t paint a very nice scene. In fact just reading that description, you can feel the negative or heavy feeling jumping off the page. It is an angry, tired, heavy, sad, dark feeling. Next we have someone who is positive, whose glass always has plenty in it, who always looks on the bright side and doesn’t let complaining people bother them,. They look at ways to be better in themselves by taking ownership of their lives. They believe they are in control of their lives (rightly so as they are) and so understand they control everything in their world. They make us see things in a better way and feel good to be around. This person has a lightness to them. You just know they don’t let too much bother them and they always seem happy. They enjoy life and bring that joy to the life of those they are around. The feeling is so light and happy and positive that we want to be with this person more and more. So this is the person we want to make friends with. This is the successful person at Social 8.
Now some people are miserable negative people all the time while others are rays of sunshine all the time. Yet most people fit somewhere in between. I bet however that many of you are much more negative than you would give yourself credit for initially. I know when I first looked in the mirror at myself, I decided I was someone who was quite positive. As I started to catch my thoughts or rather be more aware of my roaming thoughts I realised I was quite negative (something others wouldn’t have said about me) yet there you are…negative lots of the time I was. So I encourage you to start being aware of your natural thoughts, those are the thoughts you have usually reacting to life dozens or even hundreds of times on an everyday basis. Do you find yourself stuck at red traffics lights getting angry (reacting) or do you consciously make a decision to not be angry and to take the time to think positively about your environment (look around you and observe positive things instead) or put some nice music on the car CD and take a moment to relax. Do you find yourself getting upset at an inefficient waiter? Instead choose to let it go, don’t buy into the negative, and stay positive. I promise you, you will not become a doormat and be walked all over, you wont even see those things. Instead you will be that happy buzzy person who nothing seems to bother and who always seems to be having a good time because……you are!
I realise to some this may sound too simple. I promise you, it is this simple although it certainly takes some time and practice to re-train our thoughts to be positive. I also promise you, if you try this, you will instantly feel a little better. It is impossible for our bodies to be experiencing a negative and positive thought or emotion at exactly the same time. And, you can use this skill at any time in your life to ‘pick yourself up’. When you find yourself becoming negative, search for a more positive thought. You will know you have done it as you will literally feel it in your gut. Your energy will change to lighter. This is that ‘feeling in the gut’ we get. Trust it, if the situation or your thought process feels bad, then it is, ALWAYS! Another great way to change your negative thoughts is to go on a ‘rampage of appreciation’. Take a moment or two to stop whatever you are doing and thinking, look around you and quickly observe positive things. The sun shining, a beautiful bit of nature, your children smiling, a favourite CD, a loved photo etc. Now keep going and hold these positive observations and thoughts for as little as 17 seconds and you have changed your energy.
So spend 17 seconds regularly. Choosing your thought means you choose your energy. Then you get to choose your friends. Everyone will want to be around you (well those who are worth being around….forget the grumpy negative ones) and so you become the success. You then will get to choose from every person you come into contact with who you would like to let into your life.
Sending positive thoughts your way
Jane
